remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
