perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
