After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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