you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
