Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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