I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize