My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
