Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
