I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
