It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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