i already hear my dad disowning me
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
