turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
