Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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