Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
