New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize