If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
