I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize