We're facebook friends in real life
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize