Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
