I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
