All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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