i just had sex bonerless
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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