I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
