Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
