HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Randomize
