I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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