Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
