: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
