Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
