I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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