did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
