Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
