I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize