this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
