She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
