when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
