when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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