so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
