This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i out mim tonsoeep
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