they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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