Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
