Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
