Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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