remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
