what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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