Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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