My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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