you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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