why didn't you poke me back
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
