He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
