Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize