This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
