i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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