he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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