The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So much rum. So many feels.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
