I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
