Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
