just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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