The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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