Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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