Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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