She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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