Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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