not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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